so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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