plz talk dirty to me
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
