It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
