I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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