i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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