Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
