At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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