If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
