So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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