at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
