He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
how does that bad decision feel?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
