So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
