Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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