I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
