I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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