i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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