Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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