I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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