yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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