we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
