I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize