even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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