That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
