You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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