Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
