I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
