Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
