let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
