its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
