At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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