3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I've blown a few things in my day
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
