Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
