Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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