god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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