I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
