i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize