I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
