i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize