so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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