Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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