Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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