I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
