member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
