Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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