is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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