I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize