summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
