I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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