If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
it hurts more in the daytime
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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