Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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