Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
