my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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