thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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