Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
