U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just found puke in my bra..
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
