Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
