Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
