and you said cock pushups were impossible
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
