I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
